And so I will finally talk about it. Even though there is no way to describe the horror without making people interested in putting it to the test themselves.

On Saturday afternoon I actually paid money to see The Gospel According to Mel Gibson. I beg you, on all that is sacred and holy, do not subject yourself to this film. At best, rent it and watch at home so you can pause it when you need to vomit, or fast forward when you can't take it anymore.

Thematically: either you know the story or you don't. And this film does not do a good job of telling it. There is little dialogue, and thus, little identification of the characters. If you don't know who these people are now, then you still won't after the film. Admittedly, I know little of the story, and unlike other films I have seen that are about Jesus, this one taught me nothing. I gained no further knowlegde or understanding of the story. I just got sick to my stomach.

Cinematically: I did not see Mr. Gibson growing as a writer, director, producer, what have you. I saw him doing the same shit I've seen before. This time, instead of making the gore the last 20 minutes of the film, and just showing you facial expressions, the entire 2 hour film was gore, and then more gore, and you saw every second of it, and the facial expressions of every witness. Yes, it is an emotional appeal. The film made me sick to my stomach, passing up my gore threshold within 30 minutes (and mind you, I have an above average gore threshold) and made me cry my eyes out at every clip of Mother Mary watching her son getting beaten to death. Sure, I felt compassion, who wouldn't? But did it turn me into a Christian? What kind of question is that, anyway? Emotional reaction is not belief; anyone who left this movie born-again is at best a fundamentalist fool whose fire will burn out in one year's time, requiring them to either view the film again or find a new religion to fake having found some faith in.

Accuracy: Again, I know little of the story. But they tell me the gospels say Jesus received 39 lashes from the Roman soldiers, as 40 would kill a man. And they tell me at last count, the film version offered 250 lashes. As I have been trying to express, they beat the shit out of him. To what end, to say only the son of God can withstand such abuse? Well, all I got out of the film is that the people at Icon (ain't that irony for ya?) Pictures are sick fucks. Yes, 250 lashes, and then they punch him around some, and then they make him carry a fucking big hunk of wood uphill for a few miles while they, you guessed it, continue to beat the shit out of him. Again, these film makers are sick fucks. And if they wanted to make me think it was God's will, then they have made me think God is a sick fuck. And I doubt that was the point they really wanted to express.

Summary: No, there is no way to describe the horror without making people interested in putting it to the test themselves. I am sickened that people like this film. I am horrified that they take children to see it. I am appalled that people think it creates or renews faith (and no, I am not mocking the Christian religion, which I believe can be and often has been a beautiful thing.) I am shocked that people see this movie more than once and long for a sequel, the Resurrection story, so they can continue to pour money into the ridiculous endeavor, that being the one where we think Mel makes good movies. I did not learn a damn thing about the Christ story from this film. I did not further my appreciation of this art form after viewing. So then, to what purpose was I subjected to it; what, if there is any, was God's point in making me see this film? In my humble opinion, it was simply so I could tell you not to. Let me repeat that with which I began this testimonial: I beg you, on all that is sacred and holy, do not subject yourself to this film.