Finally posted. Eventually the quotes will be linked to their sources, but I am too tired tonight. Just excited to have this done.

1). I’m left-handed by sheer-will. I broke my right arm when I was 4, and sprained it 3 more times by the age of 10.

2). I’ve never learned to ride a bike.

3). I’ve never climbed a tree.

4). I hate feeling bored or lonely; those feelings tend to go hand in hand.

5). I talk in too many clichés.

6). One of my favorite things to do is lie in the grass late at night and look at the stars. Early enough that dew hasn’t settled on the ground, but late enough that it will begin to as I’m lying there, looking up. I won’t notice the ass of my jeans getting damp until I move.

7). The best date I have ever had involved laying on the ground star-gazing. It also involved several hours of sitting on a swing-set, sideways in the swings so we could face each other and talk. We kept leaning in so close we needed to kiss, but we didn’t. That date set an expectation for him to uphold. He didn’t.

8). We kept from kissing cuz he’d recently broken up with a woman, for about the 4th time. He will not admit that I was the catalyst in separating him from her once and for all, even though he used that very word at the time. He can no longer admit that the main role I played for him was as the rebound girl that got him away from the cheap ho that stole two years of his life from him.

9). I am a hard and bitter ex-girlfriend, but really, I don’t regret too many things. It’s a waste of time and energy.

10). I don’t believe in secrets. I choose not to have them anymore.

11). Outside of relationships, at any given moment I’m in love with a half a dozen different people. Within a relationship, I forget to notice how cute the waiter is at my favorite restaurant. I guess I’m a throwback to something old-fashioned like true love.

12). I love the people in my life, and I love caring about them as much as they’ll let me.

13). I love music: listening, performing, dancing, being. I minored in music in college, but I didn’t have enough talent to do much more with it than that. I have two favorite types of music: live, and free.

14). There’s a bassoon under my bed. Really.

15). When I’m not making fun of my ex-boyfriends, I spend my time…. Really, I’m not too sure what else it is that I enjoy doing so much….

16). If I could do anything with my life to make money, it would be to write. I really ought to look into advertising or journalism or something, huh?

17). I have a hard time with rejection, even for jobs I don’t want or from people I don’t like.

18). I have a Hello Kitty “shoulder massager.” It was a gift. I refuse to use it. I mean, how can I put Hello Kitty’s head * there * ?

19). I want to be a better photographer than I am. I carry a camera almost everywhere and rarely remember to use it.

20). The next time I have a long bout of unemployment I want to start it in the spring so I can appreciate the outdoors, rather than like this last time where I have spent months in bed hiding from winter and the rest of the world.

21). As I child I had an imaginary friend named Alisa. She lived in a house on our front lawn with her parents, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Her younger sister was close in age to us, and so the 3 of us played together all the time. Her name was Massachusetts.

22). Favorite sex fantasy number 1: Having sex in complete darkness, in a huge performance space, like a ballroom, atop a grand piano, while someone else is playing it, someone totally uninvolved in the great sex I’ll be having atop the piano.

23). I have yet to read several recommended titles including The Illuminati, Plato’s Republic, the Bible, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, anything by Dickens, Hemingway, Hawthorne, a Bronte sister, or Michael Moore. (That ought to cover anything my readership will tell me I should have read by now).

24). I finally finished The Hobbit, but haven’t started The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I am a bad girl.

25). I have seen the LOTR movies (because I haven’t spent the past 3 years in a cave) and loved them. Though I didn’t think ROTK needed to win all 11 of the Oscars for which it received nominations. I mean, why have all those awards if they are just going to go to one film?

26). I am not now nor have I ever been a Christian (even though I was eventually baptized at age 10 or 11). I have called myself a Witch; I do call myself a Unitarian Universalist; someday I might call myself a Buddhist.

27). Halloween is my favorite holiday.

28). I’m not good with surprises, which is why I really don’t like Christmas.

29). My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird.

30). I live alone with a fat ungrateful feline. She sleeps on my head and chooses to shit on the carpet just in front of her litter box.

31). Favorite sex fantasy number 2: When I am rich and can cook, I will have dinner parties. This means I will own a large dining room table, able to seat around 12 people. Someday I will have sex on that dining room table, and afterwards wipe it clean then set that dinner party for 12.

32). My favorite color really is blue.

33). I prefer winter to summer. I used to think my favorite season was spring, but now I’m pretty sure it’s autumn.

34). Elephants are my favorite animal.

35). “Introspection can be a crutch. Sometimes I think too much: cerebral isolation.” Stephen Fearing

36). I prefer tea to coffee. I prefer hot cocoa to either.

37). In a row?

38). Favorite Sex Fantasy number 3: Sting.

39). If I were a character in Office Space I’d be Milton. My superiors did move my desk 4 times in one year and I said I’d quit if they did it again. Then I quit anyway.

40). I drink water like it’s going out of style. I have 3 Nalgene bottles that I can’t live without.

41). I used to have some food, dust, mold, and animal dander allergies. A couple months of homeopathic remedies changed all that. Now I eat cheese and let the cat sleep on my head and I don’t wake up congested and miserable, all without taking any allergy prescriptions. Believe in the healing power of Eastern medicine.

42). What else do you need to know?

43). My parents are still married after nearly 40 years.

44). I have a master’s degree I’m not using and recently made $7 an hour in a job I used to condemn and therefore I had no previous experience. If I learned anything in 2003 it’s that my life is not at all what I expected it to be.

45). I really don’t like sports at all: both actually participating and simply watching, either live or on tv. I hate running (if you could see my boobs you’d understand). I love bowling even though I suck at it. I used to really enjoy weight training and wish I still had a gym membership.

46). I’ve never been anywhere outside the US (save for Canada, which barely counts).

47). I dress like a complete freak. I seem to have a style all my own that other people love to watch for, but dare not try themselves. It involves layers, a lot of hats, patchwork, hooded jackets, capes, ill-fitting shoes, polyester, and a variety of colors.

48). I want to have a house and a yard so I can have a huge dog. Probably a Great Dane.

49). I’m learning to embrace, rather than fear, the Adult stores.

50). My first job was as a camp counselor. It was in 1997. I still haven’t recovered; therefore, I don’t want to have children.

51). I’m a fan of traditional pleasantries like saying “Please” “Thank you” “I’m sorry” “ Bless you” and “I miss you.” This extends into sending annual holidays cards, thank you cards at any occasion, and attempting to remember birthdays. And this extends to a little sexism: expecting men to open doors for me or offer me their coats in winter.

52). I still drive the same car that was my 16th birthday present. A few roadside spills later, her name has official changed from Ginger to Ghetto Ginger. In summer 2003 she had a parking lot fling with a rusting pick-up truck named Earl the Kentucky Pimp Wagon.

53). I think my cat is a lesbian.

54). This is why I often refer to her as my furry lesbian pussy.

55). And no, I do not in turn refer to my own parts as “kitty.”

56). I’d tell you I’m bisexual, but no straight person ever tells you about how straight he is in his top 100 list. Just like I’m not telling you that I’m a white cracker.

57). Twice in my life I have picked up and moved someplace where I didn’t know a soul before I arrived.

58). I wear a size 8 shoe. I hate wearing shoes. They make me feel like Hank Azaria in The Birdcage.

59). I’m a Capricorn.

60). I have a minor obsession with the zodiac.

61). I think thunderstorms are pretty cool, yet earthquakes and volcanoes, neither of which I have actually experienced, pretty much scare the shit out of me.

62). My favorite painting is Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Paintings by Vincent that I have been able to view in real life have brought me to tears.

63). My favorite sculpture is Rodin’s The Kiss.

64). I’ll still need you, and I’ll still feed you.

65). I love to burn candles. Heh heh, fire fire!

66). There is a phenomenal list of foods I won’t eat. I have broken it into 3 tiers. Most offensive: celery, pineapple, and cucumber. Moderately offensive: onions, mushrooms, and olives. Mildly offensive: coconut, cabbages, and cold tomatoes. Trust me, it’s all about texture when it comes to food consumption.

67). I’ve been sleeping with the same teddy bear in my bed since I was 5. He used to be white, then a dust-bunny color, then kindof piss colored, and now he’s graying due to the dark blue underside of my patchwork quilt. I’m hoping he’ll last as long as I do; I’m not sure what I’ll do if he needs early retirement.

68). My favorite restaurant was this smashing local Italian place with garlic bread that was so soggy the butter actually dripped from it. The place closed 90 days after an Olive Garden opened here. Recently I drove by and noticed they tore the building down; all that is left is an empty lot. I whimpered and sniffed a little.

69). Been there, done that. And a t-shirt really gets in the way.

70). “You can’t get very far in life without saying IS.”

71). I’m running out of ideas, so I have been looking at other people’s top 100 lists. I know this guy that has a goals list, and it includes sex positions he wants to try. Now I’ll admit I’ve used the purity test as a checklist or a list of ideas, but really, do I need to post a list online of what’s left that I haven’t done, and then put check marks next to stuff afterwards? That just sounds weird. Then again, I did list 3 sex fantasies. Hell…

72). I don’t really feel like leaving the house today. Am I turning into an introvert?

73). I spent my childhood in Michigan. I will spend my adult life avoiding ever living there again.

74). I still play the flute, now in a local community band; but I never went to band camp.

75). I’ve always wanted to learn to play the cello. Cellos are sexy.

76). Oh, but I did go on choir tour. I learned to drink on choir tour.

77). I have a chlorine allergy, which is why I prefer lakes to pools.

78). I can’t decide which is my favorite: oak or willow trees.

79). My favorite Winnie-the-Pooh character is Piglet.

80). “I’m sad that I’m flying.”

81). I really do hate airplanes, did I mention that already? It's not the fear of impending doom, that part I rather enjoy, as anyone who drives with me already knows ("Oh no, impending doom! Wee!"). Instead, I'm annoyed at what the pressure in the cabin does to my head, and then my stomach, and then I have a full-blown case of mind over matter motion sickness and it sucks.

82). Ok, so I wrote the above a few weeks before boarding a plane for the first time in 6 years. Now that I have flown again, I find it wasn’t so bad.

83). But I still hate boats and have no desire to work on that anytime soon.

84). I have one sibling, an older sister.

85). 2 of our 3 cats are named after characters from the same TV show, now featured on Nick at Nite.

86). I prefer life as a night owl to being a morning person. In fact, I have been known to try to kill morning people, which is difficult because they move so quickly.

87). I recently acquired a DVD player. Yep, finally joined the revolution in January of 2004.

88). Now it won’t shock you to learn I didn’t have a CD player until Christmas of 1998.

89). I do not like animal print. I don’t like it in pink and purple either.

90). I can type 56 w/p/m. I spell really well.

91). This winter I was sleeping under 2 flannel sheets and 2 down comforters, while wearing a spring jacket, work-out pants and wool socks. Yeah, you can say that ever since my first long-term relationship I haven’t been good at sleeping alone.

92). At least once a day I realize that I am no longer 6 years old with blonde ringlets. Whether or not this pleases me varies, depending on the day.

93). I hate spelling bees. In school I used to spell the words wrong on purpose so I didn’t have to play along.

94). “Well, because I am my own favorite topic of conversation.” Loosely from Stevie Jay.

95). And yet it has taken me 6 months to come up with a top 100 list.

96). I like Granny Smith apples best. My favorite fruit is probably the strawberry—the only fruit with its seeds outside.

97). I think people who tan their skin and highlight their hair look stupid.

98). I want to sound better when I read out loud. Currently I stumble over words a lot.

99). I hate wearing shorts.

100). “Now I am over here.”